Office Space.

I am currently sitting on my very own desk at my very own internship in my very own China. How did I get here?

Well, a little over a month ago a little thing called college anxiety started setting in. I had this panic attack later than most of my peers back at loyola, who lost sleep everytime they had to register for classes out of fear that they had no idea what they wanted to do with their lives. I, too, had and still don't have any idea what I want to do with my life, but I have always loved the classes I've taken and figured I was headed in the right path. I instead focused my attention on studying abroad.

Then I came abroad. First to Rome, and now China. Yet, somehow, I feel farther away from gaining direction in life than ever before. I quickly realized my resume is shit, and I need to gain some experience if I wanted to do ANYTHING after I graduate. Thus, I found this little internship, working for Wild China, a travel company with Lonely Planet-like characteristics. In other words, what I thought would be my dream job.

Yet here I am, copying and pasting my days away, and wondering if this is what the rest of my life is going to be like. Granted, this is an internship, aka full of pointless work, but my coworkers don't seem to be doing anything mind-blowingly exciting either--other than instant messaging and organizing files.

Its weird to be experiencing this monotonous office work for the first time in China of all places. China--a place where at the moment I firmly believe is the most exciting place to be in the world. A place on the brink of change, a place that is delicately balancing modernity and tradition, a palce on an adruous search for identity, a place where the future looks both bright and bleak.

It is in this place that I am determined to find my calling in life, if such a thing actually exists. For this reason I have decided to remain here this summer, someway.

CJ.

that lovin' feeling.

I have a love/hate relationship with this whole Ricci thing. 

Pluses:

It is affording me the oppurtunity to live, learn, and explore two completely different cultures. 

It has given me a specific purpose in studying abroad; a lens in which to compare and contrast. 

It will (probably?) look good on my resume.

Are these reasons enough?

Minuses:

It was my main source of stress and discomfort in Rome and I fear that stress will return here in China seeing as I have a semi-over bearing 'mentor' who may expect too much out of me. 

I have become disillusioned with this world of academia and know it is not for me. 

It is weighing me down here in China because I would rather focus my energies on learning the language and experiencing things naturally in whatever way they come to me.

Well I am stuck with it. So in case you all were curious I am focusing this semester on Factory 798 in Beijing, a semi-commercialized art district that is widely visited by Chinese and Foreigners. I will be exploring the 'Chineseness' of this artist community and how, if at all it is unique to China. I also what to know the reactions of locals to the art itself. 

Zaijian,

CJ